Will You Gay Marry Me?

marry_loveFor months, my readers have been asking me to share my engagement story with the world so I decided that as our wedding day approaches in Virginia (hopefully legal, even), it was time I share the big gay details of what makes for a gay marriage story…


Once upon a time, not too long ago, on a local dating site, I clicked “find matches,” and the rest is history. Well, actually, the rest is a long and complicated saga of strange encounters and near misses of U-Haul lesbian maneuvers. However, in the midst of those profile faces, was the woman who I knew I would want to gay marry someday…

Now, of course you may be wondering why I keep calling it “gay marry.” I mean, why not just call it “marriage?” I would, but I think it’s time we gays come clean about our whole intention behind this “equality” phase we seem to be in. All this talk about “equal rights” or “spousal benefits” is really just a smoke screen. We have wanted to gay marry since we were kids…

I’m personally looking forward to gay marrying my fiancee because I know what it is really about – making straight people uncomfortable. Since I was a young girl, all I ever wanted was a white picket fence and a few children I could use as leverage in the suburbs of America, where desperate housewives and sex-starved husbands wait for hot lesbian neighbors to move in and serve as a distraction from their unsatisfying lives. I’m finally living that dream out and I have to say – Virginia is close to lifting the ban on same-sex marriages and it couldn’t come at a better time! My dream of gay marrying is hopefully only a few court judges and lawyers away from becoming a reality.

What you probably didn’t know about gay marrying is that we actually propose that way too. When I got down on one gay knee, looked up passionately at my beautiful partner, and thought about our gay life together, I actually blurted out, “Gay!” before I even asked her to marry me. She started her reply, as instructed in the Gay Agenda Manual: “Rainbows, parades, and equal rights! Hell yeah, I will gay marry you.”

It was so romantic.

I never knew that getting gay married would lead to so many opportunities to make some straight people uncomfortable! I guess that’s why I was gay engaged before… it’s something I just knew I would eventually get right. Finding someone who will gay marry me because of all of our common gay interests, our gay affection, and our gay respect for one another – I’m so gay lucky! Gay marrying – the only thing I will probably enjoy more is gay parenting! It will be the perfect addendum to all that gay walking I do, gay eating, and of course, gay breathing.

So, I guess the story is out there now…

You know a bit more about our en-GAY-gement story. 😉

It’s really just another match made in gay heaven, my friends.


Truth be told, my fiancee and I aim to write a book about our experiences and believe me… there is nothing about intimacy, commitment, sexuality, sensuality, spirituality, and companionship that really has to do with being gay. It’s time we all grow up – marriage is marriage. Love is love.

And satire is satire… it aims to amplify a more socially and emotionally intelligent perspective.

It’s not gay marriage.

It’s marriage.

And I want it… with her.

Get out of our way, Virginia. We promise we won’t gay grocery shop, gay dog walk, gay pump our gas, gay coffee drink, gay… insert fading gay voice…

Feel free to gay comment, gay share, and gay “like…”


Gail Author PhotoGail is an author, poet, blogger and activist whose new book, Enlightened-ish chronicles her spiritual awakening experience after witnessing a suicide, grieving her father’s unexpected death and leaving a spiritual community. Her first book, “Coming Out of the Closet without Coming Apart at the Seams” was published in 2004. Gail has appeared in FOX DC News,SkyNews and Our America with Lisa Ling as an advocate for ex-gay survivors and young people. Her freelance work has appeared in God Allows U-Turns, Encounter Magazine and Outlook Weekly. “For Gail So Loved the World” is her blog, where she discusses spirituality, politics and social and emotional intelligence from a global perspective. Her spoken word pieces and drumming meditations are available on YouTube and she schedules private speaking engagements where these performances are shared. Gail is the only lesbian known to hold a Bachelor’s Degree from Cincinnati Christian University. Currently, Gail resides in the Washington, DC Area and serves her local community as the Executive Director of a nature-based early learning center.

Would the Real “Progressive” Christian Stand Up?

After reading a post by religion writer, Becky Garrison, I decided it’s time I chime in on the subject of “Progressive Christianity.” This is going to be short and probably not-so-sweet commentary because there’s something rising up inside of me that has to do with newness and perhaps new wine in old wineskins, to draw from the Bible (gasp!)

I propose, right from the start, that what we are attempting to do by marrying two ideas such as “progressive” and “Christian” is already an unequally-yolked union destined for divorce court. Perhaps we are guilty of trying to mix oil and water and calling it wine!

I know, my Christian readers furrow their brows and my atheist readers cheers. I’m openly torn on the subject. I mean, isn’t progressive Christian an oxymoron? (Who you calling a moron?) But then again, wasn’t Jesus a progressive force to be reckoned with, challenging the religious leaders, political leaders and anyone who came in his path to think outside of the “status quo?” Wasn’t Jesus one of the most progressive people of his time and of any age?

As always, my jury is still out, especially because it is comprised of a group of peers who do identify as progressive Christians and that identity seems to be serving them quite well.

But as I read the post that describes how once again Sojourner’s Magazine a “progressive Christian” organization (ahem, business) falls short of being progressive in their treatment of LGBTQ concerns, we have several options. We can do as Ms. Garrison suggests and develop new labels for groups like this. Perhaps “traditionalist progressives” is a working option or maybe we need to go back to the drawing board…

And make a distinction not between progressive and conservative but authentic versus inauthentic.

I hate labels as next as the next Homospiritual Lesbian Hippie Wanna-Be but if we do require labels in order to maintain a conversation, know where someone is coming from and identify obstacles to understanding, let’s go with authentic vs. inauthentic.

Christianity that excludes, promotes division and moves us towards external conflict rather is inauthentic.

Christianity that includes, promotes understanding and draws us towards internal revelation, consciousness and action is authentic.

Let’s try those on for a bit and see how it goes.

I may not be able to prove it’s what Jesus would do, what Paul would say or what the Pope may approve of but it’s what Gail is going to try…

Authentic Christianity.

Maybe the people at Sojourner’s are more comfortable with the “journey” they are on but I wager that not only will business be affected by their policies, flip-flopping and inauthentic expression of Christianity, the people there will begin to listen to the stories of their friends and family members and refuse to work for an organization that doesn’t welcome all, no exceptions.

That’s my creative activism today: I’m sitting with the workers at Sojourners… all of them. We are having a sit-in and we are going on strike because FAMILY matters and inclusion is the only model of family worth emulating.


To read Becky Garrison’s article, go here: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/on-faith/post/what-to-call-progressive-christian-who-struggle-with-lgbt-equality/2011/08/19/gIQA6J9VQJ_blog.html

The Gayest Story Ever Told: Part 3

In private and in public, it’s become clear to me that the statements that I make and the process that I am engaged in has an offensive tone, which is why I warned you earlier this week that this would be a little extreme. I mean, referring to Jesus’ death and resurrection as the “gayest story ever told” could be viewed as inflammatory…

Unless of course, you’re gay! (or sympathetic to what LGBTQ people experience)

If you’re gay, reframing the story of Jesus Christ as similar to coming out of the closet or being gay allows you to get an extra dose of redemption. (Taking what has harmed you and reframing it is essential to healing!) And if you haven’t noticed, dosing out redemption is exactly what this blog is about so in the end, if it’s a little hard to stomach the way I process my recovery from Fundamentalist Christianity, you have 3 options:

  1. Make room for a new brand of sacred journey.
  2. Grow a pair.
  3. Don’t read.

That said, I’ll take one more stab at the Jesus story before it all gets blown out of proportion by the missing body tomorrow morning.

Wait? What happens tomorrow morning? Oh nothing… just that Jesus’ body is gone and all of the posturing begins about Jesus being the best and his followers, being the only ones who can know “Truth.” No body? Well then, our god is cooler and our god can kick any other god’s ass. Ours rose from the dead! Beat that!

Am I calling the resurrection story nothing more than folklore? A metaphor? A lie? (Oh no she didn’t! Snap, snap and finger wave)

No, I’m actually refusing to say whether or not I believe in the resurrection because for me, getting tangled up in the conversation of what is behind the stone that was rolled away ignores the fact that Jesus’ body could be laid out on the lawn of the White House on Monday with all the Easter Eggs and the truth about his life would still be enough to establish a following.

Whether he was a human who could heal the blind or a god who could walk on water doesn’t determine whether or not he deserves our attention.

Whether he was a god who could drive away demons or a human who could rise from the dead doesn’t determine whether or not he deserves our admiration.

He deserves our attention and our admiration because more than anything, Jesus lived a selfless life of wisdom, had authentic relationships, engaged in community action, worked to overcome religious oppression and loved in a way that clearly surpasses all of our understanding. We’ve been arguing about him for over 2000 years because of our theologies when we should be following him because of his spirituality. His life is to be examined and our lives would be better if we examined them in light of his. That’s the bottom line for me, about Jesus. The dude has the market cornered on exemplary love and yet in his name, the church has the market cornered on hate.


Furthermore, I don’t need magic tricks from god to believe in god… and I don’t need a savior from hell to believe in heaven. And you know what else? I don’t need a resurrected body to believe that suffering is worth it. It’s not like Jesus wrote the book on suffering. Long before him, it was the teachings of Buddha that showed us that suffering is a valuable tool to attaining self-awareness, empathy and for ingraining us with a sense of gratitude.

So for me, what makes the story of Jesus’ life and resurrection the “gayest story ever told” is that just like coming out, people get caught up in all of the details about what is true and they miss the importance of the love that motivated the man.

That is what is true of homosexuality and the comparison is striking. In the end, if we focus on love, who can argue with that and why would anyone argue with love?

This Easter, I’m going to do something a little different to reclaim the season. I’m going to go to a sunrise service, which I haven’t done in over a decade and I’m going to there looking not for a reason to end suffering… not for a reason to start a religion… not for a reason to be awe-struck by god’s way of defying nature…

I’m going to go and look for a reason to love.

Because nothing is more important to the gay community than love. Don’t be mislead… it’s the reason we fight for equality. It’s the right to love and be loved.

And I think Jesus would die for a similar cause… and maybe he did…


Thank you again to the Christians who are speaking out for equality. I’ve spent a majority of the week humbled by the fact that some Christians see equality as a cause Jesus would take up and I confess, you are the people who make it hard for me to discount Christianity altogether! Through Facebook and this blog, I’ve been meeting the people who make Jesus look like the guy I first fell in love with… you’ve made this a holy week.